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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in igotaboner's LiveJournal:

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Sunday, July 31st, 2005
10:46 pm
hey. i'm alive.

so it's been a while since i've updated, and i'm too lazy to talk about my life. so i stole this survery from andrea's myspace page.  and it goes something like this...

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Nicholas Walker Massa
Birthday: November 22, 1986
Birthplace: East Syracuse, NY
Current Location: Lawrenceville, GA soon to be Buffalo, NY
Eye Color: Generically, I'd have to say hazel...but there is a little gray and a little yellowish thrown in there every so often                   Hair Color: Dark brown
Height: A little over 6 feet
Right Handed or Left Handed: Left Handed
Your Heritage:  A wee bit of Irish, a whole lot of Italian, and some Polish and Czech
The Shoes You Wore Today: Black pumas with a red stripe
Your Weakness: Pretty girls and getting smoked up 
Your Fears: Spiders and failing 
Your Perfect Pizza: Extra cheese, bacon (the real kind, not any canadian bacon shit) and pineapple 
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Successfully move into the new house and be able to live there and have some money left over for cigarettes 
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: Probably "haha" or "i hear ya" 
Thoughts First Waking Up:  "what is this sticky shit i keep waking up in?!"
Your Best Physical Feature: i don't know...you tell me.  really.  tell me. 
Your Bedtime: Whenever the fuck i feel like it!  i'm 18 bitch. i do what i want! 
Your Most Missed Memory: Any memory involving Barksdale 
Pepsi or Coke: Coke
MacDonalds or Burger King:  McDonalds
Single or Group Dates: Group dates are alright, but i prefer one-on-one time. 
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: honestly...i don't know/care 
Chocolate or Vanilla: If it's ice cream, i like vanilla. anything else, chocolate 
Cappuccino or Coffee:  if it's morning, coffee, if i'm lounging around in my lounging outfit then i like cappuccino
Do you Smoke:  yes                                                                                                                                                                        
Do you Swear:  all the fucking time
Do you Sing: eh...not really 
Do you Shower Daily: at least once a day 
Have you Been in Love: yes
Do you want to go to College: um...i tried it, and it was rough. so i'm taking a break, but i want to go back in a year 
Do you want to get Married: eventually
Do you belive in yourself: sometimes...depends whats going on 
Do you get Motion Sickness: no
Do you think you are Attractive:  i have my days
Are you a Health Freak: no way 
Do you get along with your Parents:  always my mom...sometimes my dad
Do you like Thunderstorms: nothing better
Do you play an Instrument: cello, i mess around with piano, the kazzoo, the dollar store recorder, the washboard, sometimes i bust out a jug and wail on that for a while                                                                                                                                                       
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:  have i ever
In the past month have you Smoked: yes...need i remind anyone of a streak i was upholding. 
In the past month have you been on Drugs: yes
In the past month have you gone on a Date: yes
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: yes. and it sucked.  i hate the mall
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: maybe half a box 
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: no 
In the past month have you been on Stage: yes
In the past month have you been Dumped:  no
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: yes
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: not that i can think of 
Ever been Drunk: of course 
Ever been called a Tease: yes
Ever been Beaten up: actually, no 
Ever Shoplifted: once! it was the Gorillaz CD...(and a pair of 65 cent suspenders from Goodwill.)
How do you want to Die: Either in my sleep, or instantly...like falling out of an airplane and i die on impact or something.  however it happens, i hope i'm very old 
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: i guess i just want to be in a band 
What country would you most like to Visit: italy or ireland 
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: either a really cool blue color or a deep deep brown 
Favourite Hair Color: blond/light brown 
Short or Long Hair: i guess "medium" length is a good way of saying it.  not long like down to their ass, but not short like a masculine lesbian 
Height: between 5'2" and 5'8" 
Weight: i dont know...thin i suppose.
Best Clothing Style: not all abercrombie-ish, but not nasty shit and gross sweatpants (at least not all the time) 
Number of Drugs I have taken: ooo...5 if you dont count pills 
Number of CDs I own: shit.  like 150 + 
Number of Piercings: one in each ear + lip + eyebrow = 4 
Number of Tattoos:  2
Number of things in my Past I Regret: um...maybe 1, and thats debatable 



Current Mood: electricuted
Thursday, May 12th, 2005
10:56 am

wow...i guess it's been a long time since i've updated.  i really don't have anything to say, but i'm updating due to total lack of anything better to do. 

 

well...me and jess broke up.  i guess that's a pretty big headline.  i'm not going to go into details over livejournal, because that's petty.  if you want to know what happened, talk to me i guess.  you know how to get a hold of me.

 

i've been doing a lot of work for the family the past few days so they will pay for my bus ticket back to NY. 

 

my dad said i couldn't go to NY unless i got a job lined up...so jeff worked on it for me, and it's looking like i'm gonna be working at The Annex.  that coffee shop in manlius. so, if anyone is bored...EVER, come stop by, and i might be working.  i'd love the company, and i'd love to see everybody. 

 

well, it is thursday. and i'm thinking my bus will be arriving at syracuse airport in exactly one week.  don't quote me on that or anything, that's just if everything goes according to plan. 

 

i can't wait to get back to NY.  i miss it, the family, and the friends most of all so much.  however, there are a few things in GA that i'm going to miss.  yeah...  well that's it for now, i suppose. 

 

just remember: 7 DAYS!!! (in the voice from The Ring)



Current Mood: ridin' the invisible horse
Tuesday, April 26th, 2005
2:05 am

the lyric of the week is...

 

I'm in a car underwater with time to kill

thinking back I forgot to tell you this

I didn't care that you left and abandoned me

what hurts more is I would still die for you.

Armor for Sleep - Car Underwater



Current Mood: standin on a coffin
Sunday, April 17th, 2005
1:59 am
i stole this from chrissy b
THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
Nicholas, Nick, (Noonie...damnit)

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
clifhngr6 (way back in the day), number3kitchen, ilovevaporaevum

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
eye color, hair color, skinny

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
arms, nose, hairy in some places...

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
italian, irish, polish

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
spiders, drowning, heights

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
salvo t-shirt, pink breast cancer bracelet, underwear that matches my shirt

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
bazooka joe boxers, taking back sunday shirt, pink breast cancer bracelet

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS:
Taking Back Sunday, Something Corporate, Thursday

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS:
Taking Back Sunday-"New American Classic", Something Corporate-"Hurricane", Brand New-"Soco Amaretto Lime"
 
THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
trust, respect, willingness to try new things in bed

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE:
i'm hungry, i'm nervous about school, i'm dreading coming up to NY this summer

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
eyes, hair, butt

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
snowboarding, being in a band (that's a hobby to me, so back off !), intramurel sports

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
see jess, go to ny, go to sleep

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
band (hopefully), marine biologist, cashier at a grocery store

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
cape cod massachussettes, hawaii, ireland
THREE KID'S NAMES YOU LIKE:
blaine (i really do like it, it's not just cuz he's my friend), tosh, and shaymus

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
be in a popular band, go to italy, marry the woman of my dreams

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY:
love sex, pee standing up, scratch my butt

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A CHICK:
put on makeup for hours, change my tampon, pick out really cute underwear for the whole week!

THREE CELEB CRUSHES:
avril lavigne, scarlet johanson, jennifer aniston


Current Mood: oh so very hungry!
Thursday, April 14th, 2005
6:03 pm
new meaning

so tolbert told me that this song was about addiction...and after doing that shit last weekend, this song was in my head for so long.  it has a whole new meaning.

 

Don't fret precious I'm here, step away from the window
Go back to sleep

Lay your head down child
I won't let the boogeyman come

Counting bodies like sheep
To the rhythm of the war drums

Pay no mind to the rabble
Pay no mind to the rabble

Head down, go to sleep
To the rhythm of the war drums

Pay no mind what other voices say
They don't care about you, like I do, like I do
Safe from pain and truth and choice and other poison devils,
See, they don't give a fuck about you, like I do.

Just stay with me, safe and ignorant,
Go back to sleep
Go back to sleep

Lay your head down child
I won't let the boogeyman come
Count the bodies like sheep
To the rhythm of the war drums

Pay no mind to the rabble
Pay no mind to the rabble

Head down, go to sleep to the rhythm of the war drums

I'll be the one to protect you from
Your enemies and all your demons

I'll be the one to protect you from
A will to survive and a voice of reason

I'll be the one to protect you from
Your enemies and your choices son
They're one in the same
I must isolate you
Isolate and save you from yourself

Swayin to the rhythm of the new world order and
Count the bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drums

The boogeymen are coming
The boogeymen are coming

Keep your head down, go to sleep, to the rhythm of a war drums

Stay with me
Safe and ignorant
Just stay with me
Hold you and protect you from the other ones
The evil ones
Don't love you son,
Go back to sleep

A Perfect Circle - "Pet"



Current Mood: excited to go home
Thursday, March 31st, 2005
7:28 pm
i stole it from a cute girl

1. name: Nicholas Walker Massa
2. Your nick name: nick, noonie
3. Birthday: November 22, 1986                                                                                                                                                         4. Place of Birth: Syracuse, NY
5. Zodiac Sign: saggitarius
6. Male or Female: male
7. Grade: 13th/freshman in college
8. School: Middle Georgia College...hopefully that will be changing very soon
9. Occupation: no occupation...i'm a mooch
10. Residence: House - Lawrenceville, GA / Room - Cochran, GA / Heart - Manlius, NY
11. Screen Name: iLoveVaporAevum

__Your Appearence___

12. Hair Color: Dark Brown
13. Hair Long or Short: longish for a boy...kinda shaggy
14. Eye Color: hazelish, with some yellow and gray.  green when i cry.
16. Height: 6'0"/6'1"
17. Weight: 150ish                                                                                                                                                                             19. Braces?: no
20. Glasses?: i aint no dork!
21. Piercings: 1/2 in guages, lip, eyebrow
22. Tattoos: star on chest, "barksdale" on right shouldar, and i want a girl shooting herself in the head on my rib/back                            23. Righty or Lefty: lefty

___Your 'Firsts'___

24. First Kiss: j.j. hibbs...summer before 9th grade. i sucked at it.
25. First B.F/ G.F: Val Veator, 5th grade. we held hands at the assembly in the gym.
26. First best friend: Andrew Reichel...Mrs. Glenny...kindergarten...AM...we did the bandana club.
27. First Award: not sure...
28. First Sport You Joined: hockey
30. First Vacation: cape cod, MASSAchussettes
31. First Concert: Bush (opened by moby) with blaine in 8th grade.
32. First REAL Love: some girl that i cant say or i'll get in trouble. but my current love is being loved way harder than my first love.

___ Favorites___

33. Movie: Donnie Darko or Requiem for a Dream
34. TV Show: family guy, aqua teen hunger force, robot chicken 
35. color: blue, green
36. Band: taking back sunday
37. Song of the moment: Sum 41 - Pieces
38. Food: spaghetti
39. Drink: dr. pepper
40. Candy: skor/heath bars and skittles
41. Sport To Play: volleyball
42. Sport To Watch: volleyball, football, or lacrosse
43. Brand Of Clothing: salvation army t-shirts
45. School Subject: bio
46. Animal: PENGUIN!!!!!!!!!!
47. Book: Perks of Being A Wallflower
48. Magazine: MAD magazine

___Currently___

49. Eating: a staple

50. Drinking: water

51. Typing: this mind-numbing survery

52. Online: when i'm not contracting a virus from lookin at porno

53. Listening To: weezer

54. Thinking About: jessica lynn sanders

55. Wanting To: ride my bike to syracuse 

56. Watching: tv

57. Wearing: RIT basketball shorts AND NO SHIRT

___Your Future___

58. Want Kids?: yep

59. Want to Get Married?: yes

60. Careers in Mind: musician, or a marine biologist

__Which is Better With Love Interests___

67. Cute or Sexy: cute

68. Lips or Eyes: eyes

69. Hugs or Kisses: kisses

70. Short or Tall: short

71. Easy going or serious: easy going

72. Romantic or Spontaneous: both...but more spontaneous

73. Fatty or Skinny: i dont like fatties

74. Sensitive or Loud: sensitive, but not always worrying

75. Hook-up or Relationship: relationship

76. Sweet or Caring: caring

77. Trouble Maker or Hestiant One: i want a lady on the street but a freak in the bed


HAVE YOU?

78. Kissed a Stranger: yes.

79. Drank Alcohol: yes

80. Smoked: i do everyday

81. Ran Away From Home: no

82. Broken a Bone: yeah

83. Got an X-ray: yes

84. Broken Someones Heart: ugh....probably

85. Broke Up With Someone: yes

86. Turned Someone Down: yes

87. Cried When Someone Died: yes

88. Cried At School: no

___Do You Believe In___

89. God: no

90. 666: apparently i'm dating satan 



Current Mood: so many question marks over me
Sunday, March 27th, 2005
1:32 am
3 weeks will take FOREVER!

step 1.) make a wish

step 2.) top or bottom?

step 3.) blow

 

you're amazing. and i dont know what i'm going to do without being able to see you for weeks on end.  i love you and hope your wish comes true.  mine better...

 

this is to a girl

who got into my head

with all the pretty things she did

hey...ya know

you keep me up in bed

(or at least you will as soon as you get back to me)

<3 JLS



Current Mood: god i'm going to miss you
Sunday, March 20th, 2005
4:19 pm
...super random survey...that i stole...cuz im a theif...dot dot dot...
--Goth--
Do you wear black eyeliner?: no
How much black clothing do you own?: just some shirts
Do you think about death often?: no
Do you want to die?: no
Are you a social outcast?: no
Are you pale?: eh...not too bad
Do you cut?: no
Do you like Hot Topic?: yeah

--Skater Punk--
Can you skateboard?: yeah
How often do you go into Vans?: never
What's your sneaker brand?: puma
Do you do stupid stuff with your friends?: yes
Are long skater haircuts cute? um....i think i sorta have one. so. TOTALLY!
How much do you get in trouble?: not too much.  i'm good at doing bad shit, but not getting caught
Do you listen to the bands who are considered "posers"?: no
How many piercings do you have?: 4

--Prep--
How often do you say the word "like"?: sometimes...
Do you shop at Abercrombie and Fitch?: hell no!
Are the A&F models hot? hell no...well, some of the girls
How often do you wear makeup?: haha, never...i think this thing is for girls
Ever had a manicure?: nope, but i need one LIKE super bad
Rock music is bad, right?: no.
Are you ever ditzy?: no
Do you own high heels?: definitely for girls.
Have you ever said "Oh my gosh"?: yes
Are you a cheerleader?: no

--Hippie--
Is your hair long?: not "hippie" long
Are you a vegetarian?: no
Do you own a tye dye shirt?: no
Do you want peace?: sure
Do you want to save the animals?: yes
What do you think about the war? war.  (ungh!) what is it good for?! absolutely nothing!
Have you ever made a peace sign with your two fingers? yes...god 3rd grade was sweet

--Gangsta--
Are you from the ghetto?: no
Do you own "bling bling"?: haha, unfortunately no
What do you think about do-rags?: i have like, a million!
Do you like rap?: depends
How about hip-hop?: no.
Was Tupac truly the greatest rapper in the world?: no
What do you think about afros?: good for hiding shit in, like drugs and small children
Have you ever said 'fo shizzle'?: i dont think so
How about 'oh, snap son'?: haha, i'd have to say yes

--Frat--
Is life a party?: no
How often do you get drunk?: not too often anymore
What's the point of getting drunk anyway?: cuz its funny
Do you care about your grades?: yes
Do you need an attitude adjustment?: nah

--Emo--
How often do you cry?: not randomly, but if its justifies, then i do it
Do you have an ex?: yes.
Do you have an acoustic guitar?: nope
Are you emotional?: sometimes
Do you like soft music?: yes
Do people understand you?: some...but not many.
Do you write your own songs?: yeah

--Jock--
Do you play any sports?: yes
How important are they to you?: semi to fairly important
How important is your reputation?: what reputation?! 
Do you pick on the geeky kids?: only if the geeky kids are retarded
Are you considered a bully by anyone?: i dont think so

--Geek--
Do you wear glasses?: no
Do you get good grades?: no.
Are you smart?: honestly, i think i'm rather bright
Do you use an inhaler?: no
Do you stick pens and calculators into your shirt pockets?: on occasion you can find a pen in my shirt pocket.  but i dont own a "pocket protector" for those pesky ink-stains
Does your mom buy your clothes?: no...i dont even buy clothes 
How often are you on the computer?: pretty often
 
 
so boys and girls! what did that teach us?!  anyone? anyone at all?!  absolutely nothing, because there was no point what-so-ever to this little quiz.  what a waste of my time and brain power.
 
::the world can go to hell::


Current Mood: irritated
Wednesday, March 16th, 2005
4:39 pm
NTV SPRING BREAK : Lawrenceville!!

yeah, so this spring break hasn't really been all wet t-shirt contests and drunken nights on the beach.  hardly what i had expected from my first year of college...but i guess it's my own fault.  what with not having a job and all.  nothing at all has really happened unfortunately. 

 

i went fishing once, saw jess a couple times, and i'm anticipating a trip up to the mountains with taylor and maybe a couple other guys...we'll see though. 

 

needless to say, i feel kinda shitty.  not "i-feel-like-i'm-gonna-throwup" shitty, but like..."i'm-a-horrible-person" shitty.  for reasons that will remain private to me and me alone, i think i've let myself down, and possibly others.  this is not a good feeling.  also, my grades in school are suffering.  it wouldn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out. i mean, i'm consistently skipping comp. and world civ. just because those teachers don't take attendance and i feel like that's a legit. excuse to not go.  THAT IS NO EXCUSE!  After break, i am going to every class, every day no matter what.  i keep telling myself my dream is hanging in the balance right now, and it all depends on whether i go to these classes or not, but that doesn't seem to be helping me to make the right decision(s).  needless to say...i need New York.  i need it badly. 

 

i have a wonderful girlfriend,  and she does so much for me, so much that i don't deserve, but that only gets you so far.  i mean, i love jess.  i can honestly say, with a guilt-free conscience, that i love this girl.  i've said that i've been in love before, but it's never felt like this...but i want some snow. i want some weed.  i want some campouts in kearney's backyard.  and i want the comfort of knowing that if i'm gonna cry, i can drive 3 minutes up to blaine's house, and do just that...cry.  and then after that, be emo, and write a song about it.*

 

ugh...i guess this is just another one of those "i'm homesick" entries.  what else is new? 

 

but back to school.  if i don't do good in these classes, i'm not only fucking myself over, i'm fucking over 4 great guys, who want this just as bad as me...probably more.  my parents won't let me go to NY if my grades aren't up to their liking (whatever that is).  so...i'm super super stressed about my classes right now, and about life, and about money, and about getting "home" and everything.  the only good thing about this break is i dont have to wake up in a tiny bed, in a tiny room, at a tiny college, in a tiny town.  i can sleep in my bed...and walk downstairs and spend the rest of my day in my basement...now that's a spring break if i've ever invisioned one.

 

on a different note...i've been looking at schools to transfer to.  more than likely, it'll be happening in the spring semester of next year.  Morrisville, Fredonia, and Long Island University are looking like my top choices.  yet another reason i better be getting my grades up right about now.

ok...well, i'm done with my vent-session.  and i'll leave it at: I love NY, the people in it, Jess, and a couple people from school.  that's it.  and my mom and grandma.

 

*i really really really really really really really really really really really want this.  more than anyone can ever know!



Current Mood: too much on my mind
Friday, March 4th, 2005
4:31 pm

Fill it out and post it in the comments.  lets see what all my livejournal friends are like. i mean...why the hell not?!?!

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name:Nicholas Walker Massa
Birthday:November 22, 1986
Birthplace:Syracuse, NY
Current Location:Lawrenceville, GA
Eye Color:Hazel-ish
Hair Color:Dark Brown
Height:6'0"
Right Handed or Left Handed:Left
Your Heritage:Mostly Italian, A Little Irish, And Some Other Things Mixed In There
The Shoes You Wore Today:White And Blue Pumas
Your Weakness:Pretty Girls
Your Fears:Heights And Drowning
Your Perfect Pizza:Bacon And Pineapple
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:Make Good Enough Grades To Go To NY
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:haha
Thoughts First Waking Up:My Alarm Is So Annoying!!
Your Best Physical Feature:My Bulging Biceps...But Really, Maybe My Eyes
Your Bedtime:12 Or 1
Your Most Missed Memory:"Jumping Rocks Into Limestone Creek"
Pepsi or Coke:Coke
MacDonalds or Burger King:McDonalds
Single or Group Dates:Group
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:Lipton
Chocolate or Vanilla:Chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee:Cappuccino
Do you Smoke:Yes
Do you Swear:Yes
Do you Sing:Yes
Do you Shower Daily:Yes...Sometimes More Than Once
Have you Been in Love:Yes
Do you want to go to College:Already There...Hopefully Going To A Better College Soon
Do you want to get Married:Yes
Do you belive in yourself:Yes
Do you get Motion Sickness:No
Do you think you are Attractive:Average?
Are you a Health Freak:No
Do you get along with your Parents:Always My Mom, Sometimes My Dad
Do you like Thunderstorms:LOVE Thunderstorms
Do you play an Instrument:Yes
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:Yes
In the past month have you Smoked:Yes
In the past month have you been on Drugs:Yes
In the past month have you gone on a Date:Yes
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:Yes
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:No
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:No
In the past month have you been on Stage:No
In the past month have you been Dumped:No
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:No
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:No
Ever been Drunk:Yes
Ever been called a Tease:No
Ever been Beaten up:Me?! Hell No!
Ever Shoplifted:Yes
How do you want to Die:Hmm....As Un-Creative As It Is, I'd Have To Say In My Sleep
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:A Rock-Star
What country would you most like to Visit:Italy Or Ireland
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:A Really Nice Gray/Blue
Favourite Hair Color:Blonde
Short or Long Hair:Not G.I. Jane Short...But Like Shouldar Length-ish
Height:Between 5'1" and 5'4"
Weight:I Don't Care, Just As Long As You're Not Fat And In Proportion To Your Height
Best Clothing Style:Little T-Shirt, Jeans, Most Of The Time- Hair Down, But Sometimes Hair Done Up and Messy. Then I'm In Love.
Number of Drugs I have taken:5 If You Count Cigarettes As A Drug
Number of CDs I own:Haha...150 Plus
Number of Piercings:4: Lip, Eyebrow, 1/2 In. Plugs In Each Ear
Number of Tattoos:2
Number of things in my Past I Regret:I Have No Regrets

CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

i cant wait to see jess-sick-a tomorrow!!



Current Mood: want a stogey!
Tuesday, February 8th, 2005
12:44 pm
this is such a lie!
my mom is being a ho. she just sent me an e-mail saying 'thanks for filling up the truck like i told you to! blah blah blah' and its so gay, cuz i definitely filled it up to where it was when i had it last. my dad had been driving it too...why doesn't he get yelled at for not putting gas in the damn car?! so fucking lame. i guess that means i won't be having a car this weekend if i go home. and you know what that means...yeah.  major suckage.  hopefully i can work something out though. i will work something out. i'm a determined little boy.

Current Mood: pissed off
Saturday, January 22nd, 2005
12:20 pm
somewhere over the rainbow...

man, i dont even know what i've done lately...nothing all too special i guess.  like, i was at school all last week, and the days just seem to slowly go down the drain. "slowly" being the operative word.  like, i get up, i go to class, i finish class, and i sit around from 2:15-Midnight...which is usually my bed time. that's my usualy daily routine...and it kinda sucks. all i have to look forward to for these next few months is march 3rd.  that one day is making these boring days and lonely nights all seem like theyre worth something.

ugh...on a more uplifting note, i went to trivia night at Hooter's on wednesday. we did decent in the beer category, and excellent in the nascar category.  but at halftime i was all crazy in the dance contest. the song: Hammer Time, the dance move: Crazy convulsions, a shirt getting ripped off, and a little bit of a handstand thrown in there. that was fun though...one night where i didn't have my mind on her the whole time. it made it sorta easy to get through the night.

is this weird, or bad, or sick that all i can think about is her? i mean...honestly! i feel sorta stupid for putting this out on the internet for everyone to read, but at the same time i want people's opinions on my situation.

ok...well, its saturday and i'm home, and sorta bored. so i'm gonna watch a movie.

 

love nick



Current Mood: lonely
Wednesday, January 19th, 2005
5:07 pm
cuz i wanna! that's why!

yeh, so in addition to my last post, i remember that we all went to good ol' wegman's like every night, and we also went sledding on sunday. that was pretty badass. but i ripped my pants at the knee and now i look all '80s.  i think they're my new favorite pants now. woohoo!!  that is all. i just wanted people to know that i'm remembering again!

 

gine-o-saurus rex!

 

love nick



Current Mood: could march come any slower?!
Monday, January 10th, 2005
2:43 pm

have i mentioned lately that i have the best roommate in the whole entire universe?  i mean, who else would agree to take his car to drive for 17 hours up to new york state for a long-weekend-roadtrip?! no one that i can think of. and i mean that in all honesty! i'm just so fucking excited it's ridiculous. i can finally show all my friends (who havent gone back to school yet...which i think is most of 'em) who i talked about practically the whole break.  i just can't wait to get there and show him where i came from, who my friends are, the places i used to hang out, the drugs i used to do, etc etc.  ahh!! im just extatic!  and blaine, if you read this, this is going to be an unexpected reunion and i better see your ass like it's my job.

 

much love- nicholas walker massa



Current Mood: beyond excited
Saturday, January 8th, 2005
8:05 pm
as long as i'm alive, nostalgia will continue to kick my ass!

so tonight, my parents inform me that we are going out to dinner...and ya know what? that's just fine with me. i'm always down for a good meal at a restaurant.  they originally propose chinese food, and we drive to where this place is, but it ends up looking like a strictly take out place, and i was like "let's go somewhere else."  so we did.  my parents begin thinking, and they like this place called folks!! what the hell is that, you might ask?  well, apparently it's this "southern cooking" kinda place, and before we even get out of the car i knew that i was going to dread it. 

they had something on the menu called "chicken fried chicken".  what the fuck is that shit. i mean, is it chicken being fried by another chicken, or chicken being fried in the excramentory juices of itself?!  there were lots of "southern" things like this on the menu, so i settled for cheese sticks.  those are all-american, and i knew i could tolerate 'em.  it was just the fact that my parents liked this place that got to me. and don't get me wrong, i love them both to death, but the fact that they are liking a "southern cooking" restaurant. i mean, come on guys! have you forgotten where we're from?! what about new york style bagels, and i a nice NY-Strip steak?!  no no no, we want okra and chicken-fried-chicken tonight.  i kinda wanted to cry a little bit. 

i am turning southern.

and i dont like it.

pArk the cAr in hArvard yArd! (in the most syracuse accent i can muster).

 

love nick



Current Mood: nostalgic
Friday, January 7th, 2005
9:25 pm
tybee island is so small it wouldnt fit on my ass...

so yeah...i went back to school on monday.  hung out. woohoo.

on tuesday, i hung out some more.  woohoo again.

the real action started tuesday night when me and taylor were sitting around with megan and shibby.  we were all discussing on another road trip, and shibby liked the slogan "If it's Tybee, you'll find it."  So Tybee Island was our destination for the next day.  so we got up at like 10:30, packed our shit up and headed east to the island.  along the way, jenn called and was all sad that she didn't get to go, so we waited at a run down gas station (where we bought these badass orange beanies for 2 dollars) until she got there.  so jenn arrives, and we continue our drive to the most eastern point in georgia.  we call jay on our way to ask if he wants to meet us down there, and he did. so to pass the time while he drove, me taylor and steve jumped in the freezing cold ocean.  what a way to get your balls in your stomach, let me tell you! 

so jay arrives, and we start to drive around looking for a hotel.  we find one for 50 bucks a night, and between 6 people that comes down to like 8 dollars a person, so it wasnt that bad at all.  hotel time comes and goes, and so do showers, and dinner approached with a vengeance.  we went to possibly the collest place ive ever eaten at.  it was called "The Crab Shack" and it has a million stray cats all over, and a big alligator pit in the middle, and open fires everywhere, and chill music, and x-mas lights on all the trees, not to mention the whole place was on this big deck outside. i just loved it. it was really pretty. 

when dinner was over, we went back to the hotel (which was backed up right to the beach, in case i didnt mention that earlier), and we drank at every score, first down, and commercial break of the USC vs. Oklahoma game.  not to mention a rousing game of kings to top it off.  after much drama, crying, walks on the beach, and some serious conversation, we decided to head on home (at 6:00 in the morning).  a little more drama poked it's head outta the hole, and i drove for 3 1/2 hours back to good ol' MGC. 

blah blah blah, nothing good happened for a while...

now i'm home, and i left my cigarettes in taylor's car. and that sucks.

 

"...light up, light up

as if you have a choice

even if you cannot hear my voice

i'll be right beside you dear..."

Snow Patrol - Run



Current Mood: maybe missin someone?
Saturday, January 1st, 2005
11:38 pm

damn, i'm in a pretty emo mood right now, and i'm not all too sure why.  like...i was driving around just now, and i was listening to Brand New ("the boy who blocked his own shot" if anyone cares) and i was suddenly flooded with all these memories and my heart started racing and it was just really overwhelming.  i've only been in georgia for 3 days and i can't wait to get back there. i mean, don't get me wrong, georgia isn't all that bad, i have taylor and my family, and a handful of other people, and nice weather, but i think i could handle a gloomy syracuse day right now. maybe be with a couple (or 8!) friends, and just be the happiest little boy in the whole wide world. 

 

i think this lyric puts it perfectly:

i fall asleep with my friends around me

only place i know, i feel safe

i'm gonna call this home.

Jimmy Eat World - "The World You Love"

i hear that song and i like honestly just wanna break down and it hurts me to feel this way.  new years eve just made it worse, too.  during fireworks, elle called and that was probably the highlight of my night.  after we talked, me and all the guys and kellie all went to Lou's house and drank and stuff. i ended up throwing up actually, and i blame a lot of that on depression.  the whole night i couldnt stop thinking about what everyone was doing.  how dan's was, what was going on in the basement, why i have to break a 3 year tradition just because my dad didn't feel like driving to the airport one more time.  it's just so gay.  but on the upside, frequent feelings about a certain someone are still rattling around in my head.  probably the only thing keeping me sane right now...that and cigarettes.  well, for any of the <b>gnarly nine</b> reading this, i love you and hope that your night was great, and i want you to know that i miss you terribly and spring break is only a couple months away.  we will be reunited soon!

 

you are the smell before rain

you are the blood in my veins

call me a safe bet, i'm betting i'm not

love nick



Current Mood: thinking of home
Thursday, December 30th, 2004
12:23 am

wow! what an amazing 10 days!  if anyone else were with me, theyd be bored out of their skulls, but i had the best time in new york.  just being able to see everyone, to drink, to smoke, to talk and sing and dance with my best friends...theres just nothing like it in the whole world!  this entry is going to be short cuz im seriously at a loss for words.  i dont even know how to describe how it was...lets just say i was starting to think i might wanna transfer to UGA in a year or so, but now theres no doubt in my mind that new york is where i belong.  i need to get back there, even if its the last thing i do, even if i have to clean out my bank account to do it! i will end up in new york somehow.  on another note...would it be weird to have a crush on someone?  like...so random, and it just fell into my lap, and theres nothing i can do about it! what the hell?!  i guess thats just how it works sometimes.  maybe fate will bring us together someday; or maybe im just looking way to deeply into this and i dont even know what i'm feeling.  i bet its the latter of the two.  anyway, ive also decided that im not gonna go friends only like i had originally intended.  i just dont care if my dad reads this anymore. let him. this is how i am, and i shouldnt have to change just to appease someone...but yeah. i hope everyones christmas/hannakuh/etc were all super and i already miss my NY boys a ton.  just so you all know, i cried the whole way from my grandmas to the rochester airport. thats right boys. 1 1/2 hour i cried for, my mom had to make me stop. i just want you all to know thats how much you mean to me.  ok goodnight to everyone.

love nick.



Current Mood: missing new york...again
Sunday, December 19th, 2004
12:36 pm

yeah...well it turns out that my dad reads my livejournal <i>and</i> my deadjournal.

so! to keep from the constant critisizms, and everything that goes along with me saying how i really feel about things

this journal is going to be <b>FRIENDS ONLY!!!</b> from this point on.

so, if you want to be added as one of my "friends", comment and say so.

unless, you're already one of my friends, then you should be already set.

sorry, for the inconvenience, but this definitely has to be done. i can't take this man making me feel like shit anymore (and thats right dad, i said shit).



Current Mood: devistated
Friday, December 17th, 2004
12:25 am

damn, i just took like 10 quizzes and put all of the pictures and all that jazz in my journal. and it didnt fucking work!!

what the hell...im a little pissed, to say the least.

so, tonight i guaged my ears again.  they're 7/16". thats almost a whole half inch!  alright!!

ok, well....im bored and tired and my mom is getting me up early tomorrow so i can do some heavy lifting for her.  i cant wait!

p.s., who likes this little color scheme i got goin on?! i think its pretty snazzy!



Current Mood: fucking cold in the basement!!
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